Another election. I can hardly contain my excitement. I was only the other day thinking to myself “what this country needs, Steve, is another expensive, cynical distraction from the fact our elected officials are incapable of doing what we ask them to do or even what we don’t ask them to do but they say they’re going to do anyway”. You’ve probably thought the same, albeit with a different name in place of mine. Unless you’re also called Steve, in which case: hi Steve!

Anyway.

Nobody wants an election. Not the Prime Minister who called it. Not the leader of the opposition who supported it. Definitely not the electorate, who have to vote in it. Major political events in this country have taken on the same character as natural disasters or the endless stream of Disney live-action remakes; spectacular to watch, but a justifiable source of dread and despair.

Which is why the Tories have gone with the “a vote for anyone else means two referendums next year” line in their campaign. Like everything else they say, it’s a pretty transparent lie. But still: god please anything but more things to vote on. Can’t we just live in a dictatorship for a while? It doesn’t even have to be benign. We’ll be unlikely to notice the difference.

But it isn’t just that people don’t want an election. They also aren’t really sure what to do with one. Half the country consists of people who have no bloody idea who to vote for and are getting migraines trying to figure it out. The other half is the usual democratic tarpit of brand-voting zealots who’ll vote for their favourite colour right up to and beyond the point where it has a swastika emblazoned across it.

On which moderate, nuanced note we get to the point of this update: I’ve joined the Lib Dems. Without wanting to make this about me, it’s important my vast and discerning readership are aware. That way, the incoming flurry of semi-literate not-quite-libel about the parties and individuals involved is on a clean slate. And I also want to talk a bit about why.

Status Quo: worse than just dad rock

The current situation is not a failing of just the Conservatives. Sure, they’ve been particularly vile of late. They are wholly responsible for that. But it is also a failure on the part of Labour; they have not mounted a successful opposition. They have failed in this so spectacularly that the Tories have been goading them into an election. That might turn out to be hubris on their part, but it paints a picture of a government completely unafraid of the opposition.

Which means the real problem is a failing of the status quo: Tory versus Labour. Forming the basis of every government for a century has made them complacent. Thinking that the answer to this situation is red or blue is to miss the point: the answer to this situation is to put an end to that complacency.

What that requires includes (but is by no means limited to):

• Showing them that it is no longer a given one or the other will be at the steering wheel. The Lib Dems are best placed to do that, both in terms of raw numbers and political positioning.
• Ending First Past The Post and adopting a grown-up voting system that isn’t kept around solely to maintain the status quo. Neither of the old guard parties are going to do that. Especially important if we lose Scotland from the union.
• Restoring the political centre and making sure there’s a party occupying it. A party on the left, a party on the right and a party in the centre is a far more stable system than two parties that oscillate wildly between the centre and extremes.
• Bringing compromise politics into the mainstream by killing off traditional one-party majority rule. A party in the centre can work with moderates on either side, which by implication means they also temper the impact of the fringe.

All of which said, where I live is a blue stronghold with the Lib Dems a very distant 3rd. Realistically, my vote won’t count no matter who I cast it for. But if everyone thought that way, we’d not need elections at all, which means I am considering biting the bullet on this one.

A Corbyn government would be bad. Really bad. It might be too bad for me to bring myself to vote for. But a hard Brexit would possibly be worse. I also don’t think Labour can swing a straight majority, so am kind of hoping they’ll be forced into a coalition or Confidence & Supply agreement with the Lib Dems and/or SNP. That would likely see a referendum followed by a disintegration of the cooperation agreement, leading to another election. That’s a scenario I could get behind. So maybe I will vote tactically and back Labour.

We live in such times that I believe the above scenario is the best open to us right now. Worst outcome averted, I could then properly get behind a Lib Dem campaign that aimed at lasting change. But, in the midst of a house fire is not the time to start worrying about your general level of fitness; just get the hell out of there so you’re alive enough to lay off the pies.

Ten years ago, we were in the midst of the expenses scandal. MPs were doing little and taking a lot. We have – superficially, at least – addressed the “taking a lot” part. But in terms of earning their crust, parliament still seems plagued by a lack of compromise and an unwillingness to make the hard choices. Many people would argue our continued failure to actually leave the EU is an example of this. While I think there’s more to that particular situation than such an argument implies, I can’t honestly disagree with its underlying principle. It needs to change, because otherwise this is the new normal.

Forcing MPs to work to get things through is good. The deadlock over Brexit has been frustrating, but it has been a positive because it has moved us away from people lazily working with people who broadly agree with them already. That isn’t representative democracy. That’s tyranny of the minority. To put an end to it, vote tactically to avoid a hard Brexit and then come and join me in centre. It is yellow.